Saturday, April 26, 2008

scary.

So we're 3 weeks away now from the wedding. This has made me think more and more about our actual marriage. Dan and I have always been intentional with making sure that we spend more time planning for our marriage than we spend planning for the wedding. The wedding is going to be very very short in comparison to our marriage.

One thing that I have been thinking about is how we are taking such a risk by getting married sooner. Yesterday, while pondering and praying for us, God hit me with a question. He wanted me to think about whether or not Dan and I had prayed about when to set our wedding date before. Before we decided to change the date to this May, we had NEVER even asked God when He would like us to get married. NEVER. When we got engaged last January, we were thinking "as soon as graduation is over"... so we started there. Then this summer, we were so tired of waiting and God had done so much in our relationship- we didn't think we could wait two years. So we moved the date to December 2008. Still, we had never seriously sought what God wanted for our lives. In November and December, Dan and I started to get very unsatisfied with having to wait so long to get married. Eventually we were truly seeking God's will for our life together. We starting praying about when God wanted us to get married. For the first time in about 10-11 months, we prayed about what God wanted for OUR life together. God hit me in the face with this. Once we actually started praying about when God wanted us to get married- God showed us exactly what he wanted- and that was for us to get married in May 2008. That is one year ahead of when we had orignally thought we'd get married, that leaves us both in school for one year, both with no promising jobs, living in a small one bedroom apartment.... its a little scary. Its scary to think about, but so exciting at the same time.

I've grown up with my family in seminary and my dad being a pastor. Nothing is secure, NOTHING. I've grown up being forced to live by faith, and faith alone. This will help me as Dan and I are will be living by faith in our marriage. We know that this is what God wants, its just a little scary for me sometimes. Daniel has amazing faith and helps me to remain faithful. I know that God is going to take care of us, and I can't wait to find out more reasons God has had us marry so soon in life.

Since God showed this to me, I'm never going to leave God out of another decision. He showed me that if I would seek him, He would answer.

Aside from all of that, I can't wait to get married. Our relationship is growing everyday more and more and I'm learning more and more ways to love Dan. I can't wait for the wedding and the honeymoon. I've been blessed with one very amazing man to be my husband. Man, I can't wait to be able to call him that....

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