Thursday, May 7, 2009
Uncertainty. Anxious. Fear.
I feel all these things when I think about the future. I'm a married, 22 year old college graduate with no job lined up. I have a summer job (which I count as a blessing everyday), but no job for August. I have a degree in Elementary Education so I am looking everyday for a teaching job. I know that the Lord is going to take care of me and my husband, but I just wish I knew right now where I would be working. In a sense, I don't trust God enough to just remain calm and know that he will provide, but when I really think and pray about it, I'm reminded of how God has so graciously provided for me throughout this past year of marriage, my college career, and my whole life. God has never let me down and I know that he won't this time.
I've been looking for jobs every single day and sending resumes like crazy. I have even looked outside of the education field at other jobs, but I am quickly struck with conviction. God says to me- This isn't trust! You are not waiting on me. I called you to be a teacher and nothing else. That conviction hurts. I feel like I am betraying God when He speaks to me in that way, but I am quickly humbled and reminded to remain faithful in Him.
Hopeful. Humbled. Faithful.
Scratch the feelings listed at the top, they are from the enemy. These are things that I am striving to feel when I think about the future. God will provide. God will not forget me. God will take of His children.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11